Morning Sickness
by Reno Keehl
Summary: Deidara wakes up to find himself completely naked and Sasori watching over him half-dressed. Follows the bizarre antics of the two men as they come to confess their feelings in the strangest, sexually awkward ways possible. As humourous as my works gets.
1. Deidara

"Deidara…" A voice called softly, though it gradually increased in volume. "Deidara."

"Hmm…" The blonde groaned as he lazily opened his blue eye. To his surprise, Sasori, half dressed and hovering over him like a hawk over its prey. He took a second glance before flinching at the realization. "Erm… Hello." He greeted awkwardly, trying to sink into the bed out of embarrassment.

The human puppet gazed over him with glassy amber eyes. He blinked blankly at Deidara's reaction before asking, "Did you sleep well?" His voice was same as always, as if nothing had ever happened between them, but perhaps nothing did happen. Deidara let out a low groaning sound as he shifted his gaze to the side. Fleeting thoughts of what might have happened last night crossed his mind and his face grew red. "Deidara-san? What's wrong?" Sasori asked again, putting his face closer to Deidara's.

"N-nothing! I just…Don't feel very well…" Deidara lied, pretending to have a headache and clutched the side of his head, seemingly in pain. The thought of asking Sasori about what really happened last night was too embarrassing for him. If it wasn't bad enough that he woke up with no recollections of the night before, he looked under the blanket to find that he was completely naked. Letting out a fake cough, Deidara looked faint. "Sasori, I think I'm dying. Can you get me a cup of water?"

Staring at Deidara for a few minutes, Sasori contemplated on whether of not he should be concerned. Coming to the conclusion that Deidara was deliberately causing a scene, he sighed and just complied. If he did not, the blond would only persist in his unruly behavior. Leaving the room to fetch Deidara his water, Sasori pondered as to why his partner seemed so distracted and awkward that morning. Returning with the ceramic cup in his hand, Sasori found Deidara up and about, still undressed.

"Ah!" Deidara cried, as if a little girl. "How did you get back so quickly?" He stuttered, the thought of covering himself slipping his mind.

"…Deidara, the sink is in the kitchen. The kitchen is up the hall." Sasori replied, his face going blank from his partner's reaction. "Here's a better question… Why are you running around naked?"

"Un…Because…Because… It makes me feel sexy!" Deidara shouted as he attempted to run out of the room. In his frantic attempt, he ran into Sasori, knocking the cup and Sasori as well as himself out into the hall. The ceramic cup rolling out of his hand, Sasori blinked blankly as he looked up at Deidara who was at this point lying on top of him. "Oh…" Deidara uttered before looking into Sasori's amber eyes. "I… "He started to say before Sasori interrupted.

"The water…" He said in a dull voice. With an out stretched arm, he pointed at the cup that was still rolling down the hall.

Adverting his eye, Deidara watched as the cup finally stopped in the middle of a crossing. Still intently staring at the cup as if it might grow legs and start dancing, he was caught by surprise when Sasori wrapped his arm around him and wrestled him to be on top. "Hey! Wait a minute… This is…well, awkward… All I wanted was a cup of water and maybe a shower."

"Huh?" Blinking blankly down at Deidara, Sasori seemed dumbstruck. "Do you not remember anything, Deidara-san?"

"Remember…anything? Do you mean!?" His heart started to pound. Aw geez, he thought, what actually happened? Swallowing nervously, Deidara shook his head. "What…happened?"

Now it was Sasori's turn to grow red in the face. "Don't you recall the party Pein held for us last night?" Blue eye looking up at Sasori dumbfounded, Deidara shook his head. Letting out a sigh, Sasori turned to look away from him. "You really should not be drinking… Although you did win the drinking contest, you were so drunk out of your mind you kind of…Well…you know…"

"What?! Don't tell me it was with Orochimaru again! Wah!! You do drugs once and it will keep coming back to haunt you! Why does this always happen to me? Aren't I a little old for his taste anyway? Sasori! Why did you let it happen?! I know they're all cool with him now and all, but still! I thought you hated his guts! Why would you let him have his way with me!?" Deidara complained, his eye tearing up.

Clearing his throat, Sasori's face slowly transitioned from a light pink to a deep beet red. "It wasn't…Orochimaru." He said, glancing around, looking guilty and suspicious.

"NO! You mean to tell me that it was--!"

"I know! I'm so sorry! I--"

"Itachi! I am going to kill him! What am I? A replacement for that Sasuke kid?! I don't even look anything like him! I am like…way older and more developed! That little pervert! As if beating the crap out of me and making me join the Akatsuki wasn't bad enough, he had to go and take advantage of me?!" Deidara huffed frantically.

"No, it wasn't Itachi…"

"Then who was it? I am sure that the boss would do something like that… If he did, he would ask EVERYONE to join in. And Zetsu… Nah, he would never do that. Kisame obviously has a thing for Itachi. Kakuzu wouldn't do that even if he was paid… Hidan? No! Ew! The thought of him harbouring such feelings towards me…just no… Konan…is well, a woman… Then who…?" Deidara noted with a straight face.

"It was me! I did it! Actually, you started it! I didn't take advantage of you! It was the other way around! I swear!" The red headed Akatsuki quickly spoke, his arms flailing slightly.

"You? You mean…You and…me… We slept together? Like we did…it?" Deidara asked, his blue eye wide open, making him look a little more crazy than usual.

Awkwardly nodding, Sasori shifted his glance to the side. "We…did…" He blushed again.

A long silence followed Sasori's admittance. Then Deidara opened his mouth to speak. "So…How was it?"

"Hm?! What?! How was what?!" Sasori asked in reply, panicking.

"Me, Sasori… How was I? Did it satisfy you?" The blonde asked, reaching up, he wrapped his arms around the back of Sasori's neck. Drawing him closer, he spoke again, but this time in a soft, seductive whisper. "Did you like it?" He asked, his lips brushing across Sasori's. Seeing Sasori flinch, Deidara smiled. "Well…?"

"…It was…" Sasori started to say, shifting his gaze. "Really pleasant. It was my first time. Deidara? You make really adorable sounds when I am inside of you."

The blonde blushed at the remark. He is starting to wish that he could remember something from the night before. Now that the shock is gone, he realized that it was an experience that he wanted to be awake for. He had actually dreamt about it before.

"It would be my first time too, if I could remember it at all."

"But what about Itachi and Orochimaru? Didn't you guys…you know…"

"…We did but that is ancient history. Sasori, I did not want that." Brushing his hand over Sasori's cheek, Deidara gazed longingly into his eyes before smiling and saying, "Would it be terrible of me to ask you to do it again?"

Blinking blankly, Sasori asked, "Do…what again, exactly?"

Leaning upward to kiss Sasori gently on the lips, Deidara spoke again. "Move inside of me, Sasori. Let's make art."


	2. Sasori

Sasori's hands interlocked with Deidara's as the two fell onto the bed. Leaning down to kiss Deidara gently on the lips, he freed a hand to caress his partner's strong chest. It was so warm and alive. He lowered his head to kiss a trail down the side of the blonde's neck, which in drew a light gasp from his lips. Sucking lightly on a chosen spot, Sasori opened his mouth and softer bit into the fair skin before him.

Deidara's body joltted for a moment and he felt himself responding to Sasori's hot mouth on his neck. Feeling Deidara's response pressing against his own erected member, Sasori swallowed nervously before biting into Deidara's neck a little harder. A delighted moan escaped the blonde's slightly parted lips, and Sasori pulled away from his neck to kiss his partner on the mouth, silencing his moan. His tongue slid into the blonde's mouth and met Deidara's tongue gently. The two teased each other for a moment, parted with a quivering sigh and Deidara was reminded again how much he had always wanted Sasori.

More than anything, the puppet savoured the warmth of the other Akatsuki. It was a nice change from his usual cold self, and being with Deidara made him feel alive again. A small smile slowly made its way across Sasori's lips as Deidara gazed up at him with his blue eye wide open.

"Danna, you're smiling. Did I do something stupid?" He quickly asked, afraid that Sasori would taunt him for whatever reason.

"No, no. You just make me…feel like I am human again." The red haired puppet said with another faint smile before lightly kissing Deidara's lips again. "I…like it."

Hearing his danna's comment, Deidara too smiled. Wrapping his arms around Sasori's neck, his eye flashed with lust-laced excitement. Drawing close to the other's ear, he whispered, "Make us eternal."

With a slight nod of his head, Sasori slid off his pants and mounted Deidara's chest. The blonde's face became flustered for a moment as he gazed, mesmerized by the puppet's beautifully crafted body. His body was so delicately crafted, he seemed perfect. His beauty was beyond human. It was almost a divine sort of perfection, as if the gods had handmade him themselves.

Feeling Deidara's heart pounding against his bottom, Sasori gazed into the other's eyes tantalizingly. With his erection in the blonde's face, he opened his mouth, but spoke gently. "I want you to get it nice and wet. I don't want to hurt you, and there doesn't seem to be any rose oil left from last night."

Complying without question, Deidara held Sasori's member in his hands took the head of Sasori's penis into his mouth before slowly engulfing half the length. He gagged briefly before composing himself and taking the rest of what is left into his mouth. Sasori smelled of cedar wood and floral water. He tasted as good as he smelled. Closing his eye, the blonde teasingly licked at the hole as the tongues on his mouth licked the length.

"That's good enough." The puppet announced before getting off of Deidara's chest.

Getting off of the bed, the puppet stood, his hand stroking his own cock lightly as he contemplated how he should go about this. Coming to a conclusion, he nodded. "Can you please sit up for a moment, Deidara?" He asked politely. Curiously, Deidara sat up only to find Sasori taking a seat behind him on the bed. "I want you to gently let yourself onto me, okay? Don't force it too hard. I don't want you to hurt yourself." Sasori instructed softly, a hint of concern in his voice.

Heeding Sasori's words, the blonde moved his butt up so that he could position himself just above his partner's cock. Slowly letting himself down, he felt Sasori's hardness pushing into him, and he let out a small cry. Biting his lip, he lowered himself down completely so that the red head was completely inside of him.

"That's a good boy." Sasori whispered quietly into his ear, and Deidara shivered. Feeling Sasori begin to thrust into him, he leaned back against the puppet's chest and reached a hand up to grasp his hair. Deidara let out little whimpers every time he felt his partner push in harder. However, those little whimpers soon turned into melodic little moans which gradually grew louder and louder. Sasori too was panting harder as he rhythmically moved inside of Deidara.

Reaching forward with one hand, Sasori began to fondle Deidara's member, only to collide with Deidara's own hand. The blonde Akatsuki blushed, and Sasori saw. Neither of them withdrew their hand however, and the two stroked together. Occasionally, Deidara's hand would accidentally lick Sasori's, and Sasori, in response, would lean down and bite into the side of Deidara's neck, making him cry out for more.

"Sasori I…" Deidara began to say before gasping out of both pain and pleasure from Sasori's sudden increase in pace and the force he was putting into his thrusts. Immediately, the blonde could tell that his partner was reaching his climax. He closed his eyes and listened to the sexy sound of Sasori's heaving breathing as he moved inside of him whilst listening to the sound of his own moans and gasps. Their voices mingled together in the steamy room when Sasori began to move even faster, his hand doing the same on Deidara's member.

"Deidara! Say my name!" He breathed as he continued his movement.

"Sasori…!" Deidara moaned as he pulled at Sasori's hair from behind. "Sasori! Oh god… Sasori- Aah!"

At the same time that Sasori spilled his seed into Deidara's body, Deidara sprayed his into his Sasori's hand, which was playing with the head of his dick. The blonde let out a tired breath before falling forward. At the given opportunity, Sasori got on his knees. With his hands on Deidara's waist, he rubbed his still-hard member against Deidara's opening. Without saying a thing, he re-entered Deidara, who no longer let out a painful cry, but in turn began to moan delightfully again.

Getting on his hands and knees, Deidara helped make it easier for Sasori to find his spot. Leaning over his partner's body, Sasori kept thrusting as he reached his left hand under Deidara's stomach to play with his softening member. As he gently stroked it, Deidara was painfully forced to become hard again, and he let out a helpless whine. Smiling at the adorable sound, Sasori kissed him on the cheek, his rhythm never wavering.

"Sasori…" Deidara breathed. "Harder-!"

And with the request of his partner, Sasori began to pound into him as hard as he could, extracting from Deidara a few quivering sighs.

"Deidara, tell me you love me." Sasori commanded as he kept pounding.

Taken aback slightly by his sudden order, Deidara blushed. It was fine though, he thought. It has always been true, whether he has verbally confirmed it with Sasori or not. Deidara smiled slightly as he breathed it. "I love you…" He said, at first softly, but when Sasori pounded again, this time against his spot, he cried out with a strong conviction. "I love you, Sasori!"

"And I love you as well," Sasori said with a faint smile as he pulled out and fell over next to Deidara. Wrapping his arms around the blonde, he snuggled his face against the other's shoulder. "I love you more than anything in this human world…" He repeated, closing his amber eyes as he let out a sigh. "With you, I feel like I am…alive again. You make my art live…"

"Likewise." Deidara replied, his blue eye fluttering closed as he laid with his back against Sasori's body, a smile on his face.

"I would not mind if I was fleeting right now. I would still be eternal somehow. "


	3. Deja Vu

Upon waking, Deidara found himself alone in the room. Looking around still half-asleep, the blonde yawned and sighed. Sitting up, he looked about to find that the room was still in disarrayed as it was the night before. Rubbing the side of his head,Deidara groaned.

"Did I drink too much again?" He asked himself out loud before realizing that he was naked. Eyes growing wide, his heart began to palpate. "Say it's not true!"

The doors slid open and the puppet came up with a tray of tea. A soft smile on his face, he set the tea on the floor next to the futon then turns to Deidara. "Did you sleep well?"

Face completely flushed now,Deidara turned away as his mind frantically put one and one together. "Ah!" He suddenly shouted, throwing his arms into the air.

Watching as his partner flailed and grumbled to himself, Sasori was uncertain how to react. He was not even sure why Deidara was freaking out in the first place. "Dei...dara...? What's wrong?"

"What is this? Some kind of twisted deja vu?" Deidara thought out loud to himself before he turned to awkwardly face Sasori. "Erm...Hello..." he greeted reluctantly, fingers curling into a strange wave.

"You are not..._dying _again, are you?" Sasori asked tauntingly.

Calming down, Deidara cocked his head a little. "So then...un... This...Wait...was yesterday the party?"

"No, Deidara-san. That was the night before," Sasori replied curtly.

"Oh...I see..." Deidara acknowledged quietly before pressing the blanket to his chest. "Then...it was real? I wasn't dreaming then?"

A vague smile appeared on Sasori's lips and he nodded. Crawling to Deidara's side, he blushed lightly, looking away from the blonde. Their fateful collision last night recalled, Sasori blushed harder.

Looking away from Sasori as well, Deidara rocked back and forth nervously. "So..Did you..Did you mean it? When you said you love me,I mean. Did you mean it?"

Nodding silently, Sasori drew his knees to his chest. "What about you? Did you mean it? What you said?"

"Yeah,I did..." Deidara answer earnestly, hand creeping closer to Sasori's, innocently caressing the puppet's. He gradually raised his gaze to observe Sasori's well-crafted profile. Now lacing fingers with his partner, a crooked smile suspended his lips before he looked away again.

The two sat there holding hands as if a couple of junior high students in love for the first time. Their hearts were fluttering and their faces red. Neither dared to utter a single word to break the divine silence between them. Without exchanging glances, and without exchanging words, they sat; all the feelings bottled up within for years somehow transcending the physical barrier and expressing themselves freely.

The silence that lasted only a few minutes seem to drag on for a time life before Sasori finally turned, and taking his left hand, he gently brushed the blonde's cheek. Now adverting his attention to the man sitting next to him, Deidara gazed into Sasori's amber eyes with anticipation. His lips parted slightly as to gently utter the other's name, however it was briefly covered by Sasori's own. A soft moan emitted from Deidara's throat as Sasori passionately kissed him,and in time, he allowed his entire body to press forward against the man he loved.

Pulling back to look Deidara in the eye, Sasori smiled. "You are my favourite subject matter."

"Then make me the focus of all your art,"Deidara suggested, leaning in for another kiss.

And as their lips locked once again, the puppet master put Deidara on his back again. Running his jointed hands through the fine strands of blonde, he exhaled a quivering sigh. He only wish he had a life time to give in dedication to his beloved art. If he had it his way, their days and nights would be the most exquisite of galleries. If their lives were really meant for beauty instead of war,and their destinies were intertwined by the love of art instead of the hatred for humanity and lust for power, what kind of tomorrow would they hold?

Their bodies melted together in the afternoon sun, voices faltering, breaths gasping. And as they were calling each other's name out loud, without fear of being overheard, they immortalized their art, making promises like _let's have "morning sickness" every morning._


End file.
